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When I was in junior high, a group of girls were playing with an Ouija board at a party while I was pounding Capri Suns in the corner of a basement with my friends, each of us scratching our heads and wondering how to talk to the girls. So how do I know that Ouija boards invite evil spirits and inhabit human bodies, making our heads spin 360 degrees while projectile vomiting? But keep the devil-board out of my house. If you want to summon evil spirits into your own abode, fine.

The damn things are clearly portals to demonic possession. The reason is as logical as wearing a mask in public. I like to believe that common sense-as a rule itself-will govern most people, although I live with two adolescents hell-bent on proving me wrong.īut the one rule I enforce: No Ouija boards in my house. No one should ever mess with an Ouija board. Still, it’s the plausibility of “The Exorcist”-the one thing that chased me from the clergy, aside from my interest in having sex and an utter lack of willpower-that stems from the fact that Regan MacNeil, the young girl possessed by Satan in the movie and the William Peter Blatty novel, is reckless and careless enough to play with an Ouija board by herself. In fact, if I never saw “The Exorcist,” it’s entirely possible I could be living as a man of the cloth, the priest my mother always knew I could be. While I logically know that demonic possession is impossible, another irrational part of me still believes it’s completely plausible. The first, aforementioned, is the fact that I was raised Catholic. This movie scares the ever-loving crap out of me for a number of reasons.

I’m talking, of course, about “The Exorcist.”

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And while I’m acutely aware that the monsters and paranormal presences in these films are manifestations of dark and sometimes hyperactive imaginations (I write fiction myself), these stories still unsettle me.īut there’s only one horror movie that chills me to my Catholic-core and sends me upstairs for a series of nightmares where my wife needs to hold me as I weep with terror.
